Hello! After 2 months of being locked up at home studying for school I’m finally able to work on this blog again. However I’m back on a more serious note than before. The past few weeks I’ve been occupied with this and I wanted to write about it. Not only to help myself, but anyone else struggling with this issue. If todays post brightens at least one persons day.. it’s totally worth it. So this will be about self confidence, a trait we all need but lack most of the time. Obviously there isn’t a guide or a 5 step program to get you confident in 30 days, but I do have a few tips and views on it that might help you see things differently. Sometimes that is all it takes.. a different perspective on the topic.
This might sound very cliché and probably won’t help everyone, but I find that having certain quotes somewhere for me to read them regularly helps getting my mood up. And I’m not talking about the ones you see or hear every day on social media, but ones that really touch you and word something in a way you haven’t come across before. It’s like a voice in my head telling me wrong whenever I’m starting to have negative thoughts again.
Some of my favorites:
‘There are 2 options: make progress or make excuses.’
‘If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.’
‘You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.’
‘Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.’
‘Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.’
‘We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.. the amount of work is the same.’
‘I’m too busy working on my own grass to see if yours is greener.’
‘If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from rejection.’
‘Throw kindness around like confetti.’
2.Don’t talk trash
I know how easy it is to judge someone within seconds about their appearance or actions. It is a natural thing. We all do it all the time BUT it’s how you react to those thoughts that matter. You don’t have to like how someone looks or think everyone is pretty, but instead of saying it to that person (in a mean way) or someone else, keep it to yourself. The only thing you’re going to achieve is people disliking you for talking trash and showing you’re selfconscious because guess what… confident people don’t bring others down to make themselves feel better. However there is nothing wrong with constructive critisism but make sure to say it in a decent way to prevent hurting someones feelings.
3…and compliment instead!
Compliment other people! Everyone likes receiving compliments. So if you can make their day a bit better by saying you like their shoes, hair or the way they did their liner, just say it. It will also make you come across more positive, gentle and a nice person to be around. On top of that they will be more likely to compliment you back which on your turn will make you feel better. Even if you don’t feel comfortable saying it out loud, think it in your head first and practice complementing people untill it gets easy (but still meant). It will help you think more positively about other people and eventually about yourself.
4.Make a list and change it
This isn’t a new thing, but I really do think it works. Make a list of the things you like about yourself and make a list of the things you don’t like about yourself. This can be about your looks, personality or your life in general. And yes I know… the one with the negative points will be easier to make, but really try to appreciate what you have and write down several items you like or even love. Then just change what you can to move things from the negative to the positive side. For example: you don’t like your hair colour.. dye it, your teeth are too yellow… get them whitened, your butt isn’t perky enough… do squats. Do whatever that’s within reach to make YOU more confident about yourself! Don’t get me wrong.. I’m not telling you to be fake or copy someone at all, but enhance what you like and alter what you don’t to get to your best.
5.Social media break
I’ve been on a snapchat, instagram, pinterest,… break for about 8 weeks right now and if I’m completely honest..it feels so good. I love scrolling through my insta feed to learn about beauty, get outfit ideas and just be inspired BUT it hasn’t been about that for me for a long time. If I was looking at a girls picture, I wasn’t admiring her talent anymore. I was analysing the picture and looking for things that this girl had and I didn’t. I was so focused on that perfect figure with those nice abs and sexy curves that I stopped seeing that I myself am skinny, have decent abs and here and there some curves. I was focused on that girl with the beautiful natural eyebrows that I forgot that I have completely clear skin and long lashes. I was neglecting myself by looking at and searching pics of other people and making me feel worse with every second I was doing so. That’s when I decided I needed a break.You can’t feel better or work on your confidence if you keep reminding yourself of the things that made you feel bad in the first place. Should you unfollow those people? No .. they are not doing anything wrong. They are showing off what they have and what they like because they’re proud of it and it might inspire others to go to the gym, try out a new style, etc. Actually they might be just as selfconcious as you are about things but you don’t get to see that on the internet… So as long as you aren’t in a good place and mindset don’t stress yourself even more and when you’re ready for it you can go back and actually be inspired and influenced the way you should be.
6.Fake it untill you make it
The mind controls the body. I think we can agree on that. When you are happy you’re going to feel better and more energized and vice versa. However.. the body controls the mind in the exact same way. When you’re at a party standing against the wall, not really talking much, not dancing.. you are less likely to have fun than when you engage in a conversation, dance with a friend and smile. There is a reason why they say keep your head high and your chin up. Walk with confidence, don’t hide or do something out of your comfort zone.. in other words fake being confident untill you actually are and it all goes spontaneously.
7.Reduce everyday make up
Don’t get me wrong.. I am the last person to say that girls only wear make up to make themselves feel better and because they don’t feel pretty enough without it. I myself am a fan of playing around with it and always looking for something new to try out, but you don’t want to become a slave to it. If you feel like you have to wear a certain amount where it starts to feel like an obligation and it isn’t fun anymore.. try reducing it. I started doing the most basic routine I felt comfortable with. And guess what..people didn’t really notice and I felt better because I can go out the door with a 10 minute, 5 product face and don’t feel like I’m not done up enough. Obviously I still love going all out but I don’t feel like I have to anymore all the time.
I want to finish of this post with a metaphor I’ve heard from Just Jailyn, a youtuber, that really made sense to me. She wanted to point out the importance of being confident and knowing what you’re worth. So let’s say someone goes into a shop and sees a pair of shoes without a pricetag and they can decide themselves how much they want to pay for them. Obviously they would pay as less as possible. Now see yourself as those shoes.. if you don’t know how much you’re worth and show it off, you’re going to be treated the same way.
Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this different kind of post and that it helped some of you!